Let’s talk about how to bounce back quickly when you have a setback.
This topic comes up frequently in my coaching sessions with clients. There’s not one person I’ve worked with over the years who hasn’t experienced setbacks from time to time.
Feeling like you’re slipping back into old habits, patterns, and ways of being and thinking is a normal and natural part of any personal development path. Additionally, setbacks are designed to help you move forward. I’ll explain.
Patterns and habits take time to work out of our systems.
Unfortunately, we don’t just wake up one day and poof! – we’re a new person. (Although that would be nice, wouldn’t it?)
Change takes time, patience, and the knowledge that regressing (or getting knocked on our butts and falling back into old habits) occasionally is par for the course.
Let’s look at the example of healthy eating. You set a goal, make a plan, and get to work. You’re implementing the healthy changes, staying consistent, feeling great, and suddenly, you have a few days where the whole thing falls by the wayside.
You have two options when this setback occurs.
- You can beat yourself up and think you’re a failure. Most people default to this option when they have a slip-up, resorting to harsh self-talk. All the negative thinking comes rushing to the surface, and every limited belief is confirmed, prolonging the setback.
- You can use the setback as an opportunity to get curious. You catch yourself, identify where you went off course, pinpoint where you’ll have to shift your focus, and how you’ll get back on track and stay the course.
Option one keeps you stuck in the setback for much longer than necessary. On the other hand, option two results in a shorter “bounce-back window.”
Developing new skills, habits, and routines takes time.
Personal development requires using muscles you may have never used. Developing new skills, habits, routines, behaviors, and ways of being and thinking requires patience and the ability to bounce back quickly.
Whether it’s a simple habit change (like waking up 10 minutes earlier to meditate) or a more significant lifestyle shift (like implementing healthier food choices), this type of growth calls forward new ways of being, thinking, and acting. It asks you to develop a new mindset and perspective. This does not happen overnight.
A common roadblock that keeps you stuck in a setback:
A common roadblock I see is people expecting the process to be smooth and linear when they set out to make significant life changes. Seeking perfection will never result in successful and sustainable transformation.
Regressing, slipping up, and falling back into old habits will inevitably happen no matter where you are on your personal development path. To maintain upward movement and consistent growth, you must adopt the mindset that this is part of the process instead of being resistant to it when it occurs.
You can not learn without falling first— and usually, we will fall more than once.
“Take one step back to take two forward” is an excellent application here. Taking a step back helps you become stronger at what you’re trying to develop. Each setback is an opportunity to get stronger, more focused, and skilled.
This mindset builds resilience, patience for the process, and gratitude for every opportunity you get to learn how to do better and be better.
Ultimately, regression isn’t necessarily the issue. Rather, how we relate to it creates the internal tension we experience when the setback occurs.
How will you gain the skills you want without the proper practice ground supporting your growth? This is one of the most foundational perspective shifts you can adopt and apply on your path of personal growth.
Instead of seeing your setbacks as bad, indicating that you’re doing something wrong, you can view them as the Universe supporting you entirely in what you’re trying to create and build within yourself and in your life.
The Universe is in your corner, constantly cheering you on, and wants you to win.
Pay attention to how you’re getting the exact opportunities, circumstances, and situations you need to support you in implementing the exact skills you want to develop. The next time you find yourself regressing into old habits and ways of being, ask yourself:
“How is the universe providing the exact practice ground for me to learn what I’ve asked for? How is this regression in service to my ultimate growth?”
Want more targeted support to reach your goals and navigate setbacks? Click here to schedule your complimentary Discovery Coaching Call. Also, Soul Path Membership is opening soon! Click here to learn more about this online personal and spiritual development hub and join the waitlist.
I want to hear from you. Let me know in the comments below what resonated with you and what you took away from this blog post.