Three ladies united in stopping people from telling lies to themselves

Last night, I, along with two other powerhouse women and fellow Coaches, Janira Martinez and Ellie Shepley hosted an event called Turn ON, at the beautiful Bridgeworks in Long Beach.

Designed as an introduction to OM (Orgasmic Meditation), Turn ON is a night of fun, compelling, adult communication games, designed to bring consciousness to your life, inspire self-discovery, bring out your desire and have you feel more connected – not only to yourself, but to others around you.

Through games such as Inside-Out, Hot Seats and Intimacies, we get real real, real quick. What typically occurs as a result is participants are quite surprised and amazed at the revelations they learn about themselves, simply by saying what is real.

One caveat is this comes along with a substantial amount of uncomfortable vulnerability, (which is exactly the sweet spot we’re aiming for!) because it’s in that zone of pushing and playing your edges where growth can be experienced.

Without giving too much away (for those who did not attend and may be interested in the future), I’d like to share this little snip-it of the night where I caught myself in a lie and what I learned about myself through it.

In our first round of Inside-Out, a deeper level question is proposed to which both the participants and facilitators answer with the first thing that comes to mind. One key component of this game is to go with first instinct, so to not filter any answers. First thought, Right thought.

No more lies to myself, about myself. All Truth!My immediate gut instinct answer to this very personal question hit me, making itself crystal clear. However, it was too vulnerable, too honest, too raw and I feared being judged.

So, I didn’t say it!

Rather, I chose to share the next “best” answer, which happened to be completely inauthentic, totally misaligned, and did not feel right whatsoever! We proceeded to go around, each taking their turn, and as the round drew to a close, I couldn’t help myself from bolting up off the couch, in desperate need to call myself out!!

“Wait, I have to change my answer! That was such bullshit. What I really wanted to say was this…”

Whoa. An invisible weight of inauthenticity came melting off. That felt so good! The feeling of “This just doesn’t feel right,” spoke so loudly, so clear, my instinct was compelled to make it right.

What’s more is that everyone in the room felt it too! There was this simultaneous bubbling up of voices in agreement and somewhat praise/relief in my confession.

What a beautiful teaching moment this became, not only to myself, but to our participants, because they were able to feel my bullshit, and then feel my truth – just as I had.

Whoa! Energy, baby! It’s so potent.

It has been my experience that something incredible happens when truth is spoken from our depth, from that inner knowing of ourselves (some call it heart, instinct, gut, God, etc.). It’s like this turning inside out feeling that is so fucking scary, but also super liberating and empowering and simply feels like truth! And gives others permission to do the same!

I’ve found, both in my personal life and in my practice with clients, the more we do this in little, subtle ways, the more we build up a momentum which creates this sweet foundation to support further expression from this place of truth.

A woman I admire and who I doubt ever told herself a lie about who she was.Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story [truth] inside of you.”

My vulnerability in calling bs on myself and then immediately cleaning it up set the stage giving everyone else permission to do the same; and vice versa. Their sharing of their own truth in it’s fullness and rawness let me know it was safe to do the same.

The granting of imaginary permission I like to call it. Permission to be real, be ourselves, unabashed and unapologetic.

After the event, one of my clients came up to me expressing so deeply and courageously how vulnerable it made her feel to share with a group of strangers a very tender and wounded, yet healing part of herself. And at the same time, how in that fear, she also felt this cracking open, releasing, and lifting of weight. I have watched her come into full blossom over the last year plus, like a beautiful flower, opening, fully expressing, her light shining, and I was so deeply moved. It was such a beautiful moment for me as a Coach.

Furthermore she expressed gratitude in hearing me share these parts of myself which she’s never seen before and how it made her feel more connected to me.

Isn’t this the name of the game, anyway? This life thing… We all just want to feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, connected, loved.

Right? Would you agree?

In conclusion, Turn ON was a success, we had so much fun, and everyone left feeling much more turned on, open, and connected than when they had arrived. These events are happening all over the city, the boroughs, and we will be hosting another one in Long Island soon, so stay posted.

To learn more about Orgasmic Meditation – a consciousness practice that combines the power and attention of meditation with the deeply human, deeply felt and connected experience of orgasm – here is an extraordinary Ted Talk by the Founder, Nicole Daedone that left me blown away. OM has been featured by The Today Show, The New York Times, Deepak Chopra, and in dozens of other press.

I’d love to hear from you! Please share your thoughts, questions, insights in the comments below! Loved this article? Share with a friend!


  1. Thank you for sharing this story. I always had this belief that a lot of sickness is caused by keeping truths buried inside. Reason being the truth was such a painful or shameful memory. sharing the untold story or truth seems impossible. People find release from the pain through alcoholism, addidiction and death. I am a huge advocate for finding ways for people to be more comfortable in their own skin. Own their stories and experiences and not be afraid to share them with the world. I am still working on all of this too!

    • Becky, thank you for your reply. Couldn’t agree more. There is an inherent connection between our mind and body, and without a doubt, our emotional bodies manifest into our physical. I’m so glad to see you are working on this. Being fearless in owning our truth, our stories and committing to healing are essential to a fruitful life. Keep at it 🙂

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